What on earth can this rifle do that couldn't be done with something else, other than cause people who have an eye for classy guns recoil in horror? If ugly is somehow necessary, well, the Savage Model 42 is ugly enough for any practical purpose but nowhere near so ugly as the Little Badger:

And there's the very ugly M6 Survival gun, now available in civilian versions, ugly but again not in the same league of ugly as the Little Badger:

Both of these are ugly, but they have the advantage of incorporating a shotgun barrel as well as a rifle barrel. If indeed "survival" is the point of the Little Badger, well, it's outclassed except in ugly.

When it comes to an all-around survival/foraging gun, it's hard to beat the old and much-loved Savage 24. This over/under combination was made for decades in many variants, one of which is shown here: it's a 24-S, one of the least attractive versions but still recognizable as a real gun, not something that might have been issued to a Star Wars trooper. For my money of all the Model 24 combinations the .22LR/20 gauge is the bee's knees; it's a shame that Savage stopped making these guns and replaced them with the moderately hideous Model 42, but at least they had the decency not to produce anything like the Little Badger.

January 15, 2025: Why? Why?

Oh, God help us, the ugly gun trend gets worse every day. Here is the "FlightLite" [sic] "Herring Model 2024," which the NRA has described as "...AR-15 based lever action..." as if that justified it.

I'm not sure how much more of this I can stand...I didn't think anything could be uglier than the Chiappa "Little Badger," but clearly I was wrong.

No doubt this...thing...is intended to get around the AR-15 bans in some states and countries. No doubt some people will buy it. This should not have happened.

January 18, 2025: Today's Idiocy

From time to time I spot something in a supermarket or other store that makes me scratch my head at the stupidity of today's consumer. Here in Blacksburg we have many students who are vegetarians or worse, vegans; the local Kroger's caters to these dimwits. Here is the latest imbecility:

January 20, 2025: Well, He's Gone

Fifteen minutes ago President Buffoon's term ended after four long years. He can now stumble off into the mists of history; good riddance to him and everything he stands for.

February 2, 2025: The Festival Of The Meteorological Rodent

The report from Punxatawney is that the groundhog saw his shadow today. Six more weeks of winter. Well, Phil is at least as accurate a forecaster as the Weather Babes on TV.

February 9, 2025: Super Bowel Sunday (And No, That's Not A Typo)

I've spent the last few days digitizing dog pictures from our old albums, so that they can be displayed on one of those digital photo frame gadgets. Forty-one years of having dogs means you have a LOT of pictures. I've been through three albums so far, have 86 more images to go in the current one, and no idea how many more there may be in other albums stashed away in our spare room closet.

This is a tiring exercise for many reasons. First—and least important—is the fact that my back is killing me from the stooped positions I have to take. Much more importantly, it's emotionally draining. Seeing all those pictures of long-dead companions who have shared our lives for anywhere from 10 to 16 years each is wearing me down.

So many memories...For a variety of reasons I believe I have, at most, 10 years to go. Not long enough. I have come to realize that I can no longer, at age 77—nearly 78—have a dog. It would probably outlive me, and I have no one to whom it could go. I could never countenance any pet of mine ending up in a shelter or worse, being "put to sleep" because I was so inconsiderate as to die first. Nor do I wish to undergo the heartache—again—of losing a beloved animal should I live longer than I think I will.

I have absolutely zero interest in football, but briefly I've been watching the "Puppy Bowl," which is far more entertaining and far more honest than any football game could ever be. This isn't helping my melancholy outlook. Those adorable dogs remind me of what I have had, what I have lost, and what I can never have again.

February 26, 2025: The Last Tree

If you have followed this blog for any length of time you'll perhaps have read my essay on trees that have meant something to me in the course of my life. Today the last tree that was in our yard when we moved here 38 years ago was cut down.

It was a flowering crabapple, a spectacularly showy ornamental that every Spring burst forth with pink blossoms for a brief time. I have no idea which of the previous owners of this house planted it, nor when. The house was built in 1963, so I suppose it could have been planted then, or sometime afterwards; but it was certainly well over 40 years old. It had been steadily declining; in the last ice and windstorm a couple of weeks ago it lost some big branches. It was directly under our power line, too: a year or so ago another of our trees had grown up into the line and got set on fire, something we didn't want to have happen. I hated to lose it, but it was obvious the crabapple's time had come. We hired a tree service to do the deed; it was far too much for me to handle. The tree man came yesterday, to give me a very reasonable estimate. Today two workers showed up. A husky young man and a lithe, wiry young woman. He did the cutting, she drove the skid-steer and shoved branches and debris into the wood-chipper trailer. (That chipper is one of the scariest pieces of equipment I've ever seen. A few weeks ago a man working for one of the local tree companies fell into a chipper, about as grisly a fate as could be imagined. His work mates got most of him out, according to the news story, but it must have been like that famous scene in the movie Fargo. Yechh...)

I was immensely impressed with these two professionals. They showed up at 12:30 and were done by 3:00, including an hour for their lunch. It helps when you have a 24" chain saw and a skidder that handles logs 12-15 feet long and a foot thick. I thought about what it must have been like when this area was originally settled, back in the mid-18th Century. Virgin forest that had to be cut down with axes and hand saws! Those old timers really had it tough. Doing it today is not easy but back then it must have been literally back-breaking. No wonder they died in their 30's—if they were lucky enough to live that long.

May 9, 2025: Back From Europe

I returned two days ago from an extended (5 weeks) trip. A report will be posted soon, please be patient, we're still doing laundry and catching up on paperwork. We traveled again via Queen Mary 2. Went via London and Paris to Barcelona, whence we boarded a Viking cruise in the Mediterranean. Watch this space for a link when the report is up.

May 24, 2025: The Universal Words And Common "Culture"

As mentioned above, we've just come back from Europe. While there I was reminded of two facts: first is that English is becoming—if it isn't already—the universal language of the world. When I made my first trip across The Pond in 1966 it was a good thing that I spoke some French and my traveling companion spoke some German, because otherwise we'd not have been able to communicate at all. Nowadays at least in areas frequented by tourists, English is almost universally understood and spoken by the local population.

The second is that some words are simply universal. They're the same in every language, not only in meaning, but in spelling. We encountered these in at least half a dozen countries, always spelled the same way. Here are a few of them but no doubt there are more:

STOP
TAXI
PIZZA
SNACK
HOTEL
SPORT
OKAY
TATTOO
MINI
MAXI
BAR
VIDEO
EXPO
PHOTO
S.O.S.

(Yes, I know that last entry isn't a "word" per se, but its meaning is clear to everyone.)

Another thing that's become increasingly obvious over the years is the enormous influence of American pop culture. This is entirely due to television and Hollywood movies, which present a distorted view of American life. (I was once in Egypt where the soap opera The Bold And The Beautiful had such a hold on the imagination of the populace that the entire country came to a grinding halt when it was on TV. Most Egyptians seem to think all Americans are rich, beautiful, spoiled, and live in mansions. But I digress...)

In 1966 it was possible to spot Americans in Europe easily by the way we dressed, particularly with respect to shoes. The sort of athletic shoe so common today was unknown in the US: Americans wore normal street shoes. Today it is no longer possible to spot who's from where. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, wears the same clothes and sports the same logos, regardless of their nationality. Unless you hear someone speak it's not possible to determine where someone is from.

Some logos are more common than others. Names of cities and states in the USA are by far the most common words emblazoned across T-shirts and sweatshirts. Especially "NEW YORK," both the city and the state; but the names of a dozen or more American states and cities were also easily seen in any crowd, in any city we visited. Most of these were being worn by people who weren't Americans. "SAN DIEGO" and "CHICAGO" were popular, too; but "MILWAUKEE" and even "CLEVELAND" showed up from time to time, as did—of course—"TEXAS" which rivaled "NEW YORK" in numbers of sightings. This is an interesting thing, because I don't remember seeing "TORONTO" or "MONTREAL" or any other Canadian city. Why not, for example, "SASKATCHEWAN" or "WINNIPEG"? I have no idea. American sports teams got good exposure: the New York Yankees baseball team was everywhere evident.

Of non-US places "PARIS" or "ROME" and "OXFORD" popped up now and then. I don't recall seeing "MOSCOW" but I did see "BARCELONA." I have no explanation for this phenomenon of the predominance of American cities and states.

As anyone who's traveled to Europe can attest, too, the presence of American companies is widespread. I've seen a Subway sandwich shop in Russia, for Pete's sake; you will find the malign Golden Arches in any town in Europe of any size. For that matter I once was treated to dinner in a KFC in Amman, Jordan. Starbucks and Burger King are everywhere, too; plus I've counted at least five Five Guys franchises in Paris alone. But one company whose logo is surely known by every living human being outside of a Borneo rain forest (and maybe even there) is...Coca-Cola. In my early travels I would see Coca-Cola signs everywhere. Every bar and restaurant seemed to have Coca-Cola and displayed that fact. This trip, I saw none of that. The only "advertisement" I saw for Coca-Cola was on the side of a 60's or 70's vintage napkin holder in Crete. Hard to explain the near-total disappearance of an iconic brand.

Long Live The Flip Phone

I hate "smart" phones. After the trip we made to Europe a year and a half ago my wife forced me to get a "smart" phone because my beloved LG Wine flip phone wouldn't work there. I flatly refused to spend $1000 on the then-latest I-Phone; under compulsion I bought a Samsung Galaxy A15, and I hate the damned thing for many reasons, too many to go into here. I've been using it for a year and a half and I hate it more every day.

I have two, maybe three uses for a phone. First, to make calls; second, to receive calls. On very rare occasions I find it convenient to take a picture (all mobile phones are also cameras these days). That's it. I cannot comprehend the idea that someone should put his or her entire life on a phone: bank account numbers, credit card information, Social Security numbers, passwords, birthdays, etc., etc. What happens if the phone is lost or stolen? Your life goes with it. Still less do I understand the logic behind those little stick-on sleeves that people use to carry their driver's licenses, credit cards, etc. attached to the phone in one "convenient" package. Convenient for whom? I live in a university town with innumerable young women who carry their phone sticking out of the back pocket of their blue jeans. Maybe it's to make things easier for pickpockets? To me this sort of behavior is just asking for trouble.

Moreover, I loathe texting and refuse to do it. Texting makes no sense. If someone needs to speak with me, that's what the phone is for: call me, damn it. But too often the text is "Can you talk right now?" or something similar. If I can talk I'll answer: if not I won't.

But...I believe I have found The Way. About two years ago I bought a cheapo flip phone, one of those pay-as-you-go things, that costs me the magnificent sum of $15 per month, no contract, get-rid-of-it-when-you-want-to. You know, what on the detective shows on TV they call a "burner" phone*. It can't do "apps," and I don't want it to; but it makes calls and receives calls and has a camera.

Today I found out I can forward calls to my never-sufficiently-to-be-cursed "smart" phone to my "burner" phone. I am now liberated. Anyone who calls me is automatically routed to the "burner," which is half the size of the Samsung phone. Texts are not forwarded, which is no hardship. I can't check voicemail, either, which again is no hardship. Henceforth the Samsung will sit on my desk and act as a relay station. By the way, the burner phone is "unlocked," so if we travel outside the USA again I can buy and insert a SIM card that works wherever we're going, rendering me free of that damned Samsung even in Europe.

*The modern TV detective drama simply couldn't carry its plots forward without having the Good Guys as well as the Bad Guys use cell phones.

July 4, 2025: Rodenticide

I killed a groundhog today. This is nothing new for me, I've killed a lot of them. Since my dog Lucy died two years ago the word is out among the local critters that our yard is now a "safe zone," so we've been seeing a lot of wildlife in it.

Had this animal been smart enough to stay in the back yard I'd not have bothered him. We have no garden, and a groundhog in the back yard isn't doing me any harm so I "live and let live." But this one decided to build a burrow right up against the outside wall of my house. I suppose he thought to himself, "Aha! Here is a nice big flat rock, I can dig my home against it and have a solid, safe place to live!"

I have a couple of those "Hav-A-Hart" traps (is there any less suitable name for a trap?). These have one advantage: if a "non-target" species such as a rabbit or a squirrel takes the bait, I can let it go unharmed. Its disadvantage is that it doesn't effect an instantaneous kill, as does my neighbor's Conibear trap, with which he has killed at least 50 groundhogs in his garden. I don't have a Conibear trap and don't want one, lest a neighbor's cat, or the small dog who lives behind my house who periodically escapes to go a-roaming, might stick its head in and get killed. I would hate to have to explain to my neighbor what happened to his little terrier. Another disadvantage of the "Hav-A-Hart" is that if I'm not home when something gets trapped it may be a long while before I get to either let it go or terminate it. Even a few hours in the hot sun in one of those would be indefensible torture. I place it where I can see it from my deck, so I can check it several times a day.

I did the deed that necessity demanded had to be done using my 63-year-old Remington Nylon 11 .22 rifle and a CB cap. I took the trap plus temporary resident into the garage, closed the door, and POP! translocated him to the Great Garden In The Sky. May he forage in peace. I then washed up the blood, bagged the poor critter's carcass, and took it to the disposal site my neighbor with the Conibear uses.

I didn't want to do this. I hope I don't have to do it again, but I probably will have to: once a burrow is vacated sooner or later another groundhog will move into it. I would greatly have preferred to let him go, but in Virginia the law says that if you trap something you may not relocate it: you are required to kill it. Mr Marmot in his innocence sealed his fate when he chose to dig where he did. I can try closing up the hole after inserting a smoke bomb into it, but I did that last year to no avail. My father used to buy some sort of thing that looked like an M-80 firework but when lit released cyanide gas. Those are no longer sold (at least not to non-professional pest removers) and the smokers are pretty feeble. Shoveling dirt into the hole might slow down reoccupation but can't prevent it.

I'd baited the trap with carrots and sliced oranges; two days after putting it out I saw the doors were down, went to look, and there he was. At least he'd had a decent last meal. It isn't much to ease the pangs of conscience but it's something. I imagine that executioners in prison feel the same way about those prisoners on Death Row they have to kill when the time comes.

More Stupidity

From time to time I come across something that strikes me as terminally stupid. It's usually something related to advertising or merchandising; the best place to find such things is a "health food" store (ever notice how everyone who works in a "health food" store look emaciated and on the verge of death?) but supermarkets are also great places to encounter this sort of nonsense. Hardware stores aren't exempt either. Here are a few recent, choice examples.

Beer Charcoal

Well, what the hell, it's July 4th weekend, right? People will be having cookouts, and what's a cookout without beer, hey? So Kingsford brought this gem out. I wonder if they expect it to be sold to teetotalers as well as "normal" people? It "contains no alcohol," they are careful to point out, in small type, in both English and Spanish.

The Electronic Fly Swatter

This one might actually be fun. You put in the batteries (not included) and hit a bug... and ZAP! the little bastard is no more. I've seen electric "bug-zappers" that make a very satisfying noise when a victim touches the wires, so I assume this thing does too.

The Solar-Powered, AI-Enabled Bird Feeder

Sold in our local Tractor Supply store. You can watch birdies from the comfort of your armchair by using the function that sends HD images to your cell phone. Videos, too! Best of all you don't have to get out your copy of Peterson's Field Guide To The Birds, because this thing recognizes them for you and tells you what you're seeing. So if an Ivory-Billed Woodpecker comes but you're in a business meeting or aboard a cruise ship, you'll know it. What's not to like?

Last, But Not Least: "Plant-Powered" Laundry Detergent

Yes, you read that right. These days the term "plant based" is a big selling point in grocery stores. It's worth pointing out that everything sold in a grocery store is ultimately "plant based" because it's plants that make life on Earth possible. But this is without doubt the silliest "plant based" product I've seen in a long time. Nor is it a joke. Here is the blurb from the product's web site:

Don’t let harsh chemicals harm sensitive skin. ECOS laundry detergents and cleaning products are made without harmful chemicals and nasty ingredients found on our Nasties list. We use safer ingredients while offering superior cleaning power compared to many leading brands. Discover plant-powered, sustainable laundry detergents and other eco-conscious laundry products in our ECOS lineup today.

Notice that they don't tell you what it is, just what it isn't. This product thus shares the advertising philosophy that coined the term "non-dairy creamer." There's an old saying that "There is no medicine for stupidity," as I think all these products prove. They also prove the truth of P.T. Barnum's pithy observation that, "There's a sucker born every minute, and two to take him."

July 12, 2025: The Quicker Pecker-Upper

I knew there was a Museum of Erotica in Denmark (where else?) but I did not know until today there was a museum in Reykjavik, Iceland, devoted entirely to penises. Mrs Outdoorsman wouldn't let me go to the Museum of Erotica (why bother, in these days of Internet porn sites?). We're going to Reykjavik next year, but she has asserted that under no circumstances will we go to the "Icelandic Phallological Museum." It is, of course, handicapped-accessible, and children under 14 are not only admitted, they get in free. Since the age of consent in Iceland is 15 perhaps they want youngsters to be well informed when they hit that Magic Number of Legality. They need to know, after all, what to expect and all that sort of thing. No, I am not making all this up. Here's their web site if you want to test my veracity.

And yes, there most certainly is a gift shop. Described as...ahem.."unique" (I'll bet!) there are no doubt any number of really interesting gifts for the man—or woman—who already has everything.

But best of all, in the café, they sell "penis waffles." If you watch the little intro video on the web site you will see what they look like, covered in whipped cream and strawberries, to boot. You can buy the machine to make them from Amazon (where else?)

In this age of equality, of course, the ladies have to have an equivalent, and so they do. Another company sells a machine that makes vagina-shaped waffles. I will leave it to my readers to decide what that whitish material on these two confections represents.

Yum!

July 27, 2025: Jane Doe

Our "CWD Season" is about to begin in a few weeks, and I'm ready to get out. I hope it isn't but it may well be my last season. It gets harder for me to get a dead deer out every year, even with the winch-and-ramp setup on my truck bed. If I drop another one in heavy logging debris as I did a couple of years ago, I just hope I don't have a heart attack dragging it out.

We have a lot of deer in Virginia, and this year there seem to be more than ever. A few weeks ago Mrs Outdoorsman was doing some weeding, stepped into a grass patch, and BOOM! out popped a spotted fawn no bigger than my late Border Collie. I'm not sure which of them was more startled.

I sometimes put out a camera on our front lawn to see if any have come in to eat my wife's flowers, which they do with fair regularity. Our back yard is fully fenced, but a 4-foot fence is not an obstacle of much importance to a deer: I've seen them stand next to one higher than that, twitch a leg muscle or two, and clear the fence without a hitch. Our dog died a year and a half ago, so I think the word is out among the local wildlife. There is one doe—we call her "Jane"—who comes into the back yard on a fairly regular schedule, usually between 10:00 AM and 2:00 PM, to browse on the heavy vegetation that obscures most of the fence. She isn't too big, maybe 100-110 pounds on the hoof, so I believe she's just a yearling. Nevertheless she has two fawns. The picture shows them as they were last June on our front lawn. They're much larger now, and have lost their spots. I think one is a buck: I don't know if deer can have twins of different sexes, but the marks on the one fawn's head look like places where in time it will grow antlers.

I believe they're still too small to jump the fence. Jane seems to park them in a brush pile on my next-door-neighbor's side of the line. Once she's finished her meal she hops over the fence—through the brush, not at one of the cleared spaces. I hold my breath when I see her do this because I fear she'll get hung up in a vine and I'll have to go down to get her out or worse, kill her if I can't. Once she's over the fence she trots up the hill through the neighbor's yard, with her fawns in tow.

She was here today. She favors one corner of the yard where the vegetation is quite heavy, that's almost always where we see her. It's been my observation that deer don't care much about agricultural machinery. A deer will keep it under observation but won't run from it if it's far enough away. (I once shot a buck who was watching a farmer feed his cattle from a tractor.) Today my neighbor on the other side of our property, who is a grass-mowing fanatic, was out on his riding mower, zooming up and down; Jane paid little attention to him. From time to time she'd glance over at him for a few seconds, but clearly didn't consider him a threat, a couple of hundred feet away.

Bears Are Getting More Common

Last night my neighbor across the street, a sweet old lady, called me about 9:10 to tell me she'd seen a bear in her back yard. This is becoming more common here: another neighbor on the same side of the street told me a couple of weeks ago she'd been seeing bears in her back yard.

We have seen a bear on our front lawn, too. I caught this picture of one on a game camera two years ago.

We live on a very "suburban" street but there's a park at one end that connects to a trail leading into the Jefferson National Forest a couple of miles away. So there's a pretty much unbroken stretch of wooded land between the Forest and Suburbia, basically a highway for migrating animals. Deer are the heaviest "traffic" but bears use it too, obviously. There are plenty of bears in this part of the state, but the Department of Wildlife Resources won't do anything about them. Not much they can do, actually. Trapping and relocation, we are told, "...just makes them someone else's problem..." (well, duh, that's the idea). In time someone will get mauled or killed. Then maybe something will happen.

Well, This Seems Like A Good Idea...But Only Time Will Tell

This came from the National Rifle Association:

Colorado to Feed Road-Killed Wildlife to Problem Wolves

Colorado’s Wolf Depredation Compensation Fund was established to compensate landowners and agricultural producers for wolf depredation of livestock and working animals...[The fund] was nearly bankrupted after compensating just two ranchers for their losses. With wolf problems continuing to mount....wildlife officials in the Centennial State are looking for other answers to the problem. And one such answer might be feeding road-killed wildlife to “problem” wolves, based on a conversation at a recent Colorado Parks & Wildlife (CPW) Commission meeting.

As background, Coloradans voted by a narrow margin in 2020 to reintroduce wolves to the state. Ten wolves were released in Summit and Grand counties in December 2023. In January 2025, CPW released another 15 wolves that were captured in British Columbia and relocated to Pitkin and Eagle counties.

The National Rifle Association and the NRA hunting news website warned of the possible negative long-term impact of a wolf introduction since the plan was hatched. In fact, the NRA Institute for Legislative Action (NRA-ILA) partnered with other hunting and wildlife conservation groups in an initiative to stop the forced introduction of gray wolves to Colorado.

With depredation problems continuing, CPW Director Jeff Davis, at the June meeting of the CPW Commission, discussed feeding roadkill wildlife to “problem” wolves to take the predators’ focus off cows, calves and sheep. “The diversionary feeding is something that, when we talked with our counterparts in other states, has been shown to be effective—and we have considered that,” Davis said in a conversation about a “problem” pack during the recorded meeting..... “We continue to monitor those animals. When I say that, and we see movement that seems to indicate that those animals are following the elk herd, then do we intervene with that in a manner that might naturally hold them from moving along with that elk herd, for example?”

For his part, Commission Chairman Dallas May voiced his wholehearted support for feeding roadkill to wolves in an effort to slow depredation of livestock. “I’m all for the supplemental feeding of wild game, roadkill or whatever it would be to deflect this and to support those packs so that they don’t have to go out and survive on calves, they don’t have to survive unnaturally,” May said.

Incidentally, one Colorado wolf recently became such a problem for ranchers that CPW personnel finally had to kill it to stop the carnage. Because the young male wolf (wolf 2405) met the conditions of “chronic depredation” with “three or more depredation events caused by the same wolf or wolves within a 30-day period, provided there is clear and convincing evidence that at least one of the depredation events was caused by a wolf or wolves,” biologists called the wolf into rifle range with a predator call and killed it.

“Consistent with the incremental approach discussed in Administrative Directive OW-15, the Division is now evaluating whether lethally removing wolf 2405 achieves the goal of changing the pack’s behavior,” the after-action report stated.

Ultimately, the release of the wolves in Colorado has become a tremendous headache for both ranchers and wildlife managers—just as expected—without providing much benefit. It’s doubtful that putting state resources to work collecting roadkill to feed the wolves is going to change the situation much, but wildlife managers seem to be scrambling to find some way to keep wolves from doing what they do best: catching the easiest food possible for their next meal.

One has to wonder how fastidious wolves are with respect to their food. It certainly seems that the Colorado wildlife authorities have created a situation without thinking of what the long-term consequences might be. Will these "problem" wolves become so dependent on handouts they morph into "Welfare Wolves" unable to get a decent job killing cattle? Will the subsidized wolves tend to stay in one place, perhaps increasing the size of their packs so as to maximize the benefits? Will there be setting up of Homeless Wolf Encampments? Will there be agitation to feed other predatory animals, e.g., coyotes, under the guise of "fairness"? Will there be formed "Wolf Rights" organizations to see that wolves don't get a bad name? (Oh, wait, there already are those.) Will small animals like jackrabbits protest that they are more or less literally being thrown under the bus just to feed the wolves? Inquiring minds want to know.

August 6, 2025: Today's Lunacy

These were picked up in an REI store in Columbus, Ohio.

In case you are tired of hot dogs grilled on sticks when you're camping, you can buy granola, Thai curry, Cucumber Chaat Salad, Pad Thai, and my favorite, Carrot-Ginger Power Bowl, plus many other flavorsome delights. Freeze dried, just add water.

And since no one wants to stink after a few days of sleeping in a tent with no running water, you can get a Happy Bottom portable bidet, to achieve that fresh, fresh, deep clean feeling. Since Americans rarely have bidets even in their own homes, this might come in handy there, too.