These Rules have been approved by The Committee On Making The Rules. Dissemination or distribution of these Rules in any location where men are likely to see them is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN!

1. Women make the Rules, men Follow the Rules, and don't you ever forget it.

2. The Rules are subject to change at any time, without prior notice. 

3. Men are not  allowed to know what The Rules are.  Any woman who discovers that a man has learned one or more of The Rules shall immediately change some or all of The Rules.

4. Women are always right.  Men are always wrong.  A man's ignorance of The Rules is no excuse for him being wrong.

5. If, somehow, a woman is wrong, the only possible reason for the situation is some blatantly stupid and completely unforgivable act or statement by a man.  The guilty man must immediately apologize for causing this problem, and do so abjectly and with full acknowledgement of his guilty conduct.  If guilt for the misdeed cannot be ascribed to any man in particular, the nearest man will take the blame.

6. Any woman is permitted to change her mind at any time, for any reason, if she even wants to bother coming up with a reason.  Even if she has a reason she is absolutely forbidden to tell any man what it is, or to inform him she has changed her mind until a violation of Rule 5 has taken place. 

7.  No man is permitted to change his mind without obtaining written permission from the nearest woman.

8.  Women are not permitted to give men permission to change their minds, under any circumstances and for any reason, except as a means to rectify a breach of Rule 5.  If a man is permitted to change his mind under this provision, he shall be reminded of it for the rest of his life.  Obtaining permission to change his mind shall not absolve a man of guilt for violation of Rules 1 through 5 inclusive.

9. Any woman has a right to be angry or upset with any man, at any time.  She may not tell the man why she is angry or upset.  She is not required to have a reason to be angry or upset.  It is preferable that she not tell a man that she is angry or upset at all until he has committed a violation of Rule 5.

10. No man shall ever become angry or upset when in the presence of a woman, under any circumstances, except if a woman wishes him to be angry or upset.  If he fails to become angry or upset when a woman wishes him to be, he is guilty of a violation of Rule 5.  A woman who wishes a man to become angry or upset is not permitted to let him know he is supposed to be until a violation of Rule 5 has taken place. 

11. a. A man who fails to read a woman's mind and thus fails to understand that he is supposed to be angry or upset is guilty of a violation of Rules 1 through 10 inclusive.

     b. Inability to read minds is no excuse for a man’s failing to do so.

12.  a. If something involves tools, electricity, the car, garbage, computers, or an item weighing more than 8 pounds, it is a man's responsibility to deal with it. Immediately.

b. Anything involving a dead animal or parts thereof must be done by a man.

13. If something involves the disbursement of money it is the woman's responsibility to deal with it, providing that she is supplied with funds by the man.  Failure to supply these funds shall constitute a violation of Rule 5.

14. Men shall be permitted to make only big decisions, including the admission of new member states to the UN, and the best strategy for conducting foreign policy.  Women shall make all minor decisions including, but not limited to, what car or house to buy, what movies to rent, what TV shows to watch, and anything that involves the expenditure of money.  Men shall not be permitted to question these decisions: this shall constitute a violation of Rules 5 and 15.

15. a. No woman shall tolerate for even a single second the sight of a man enjoying himself.  Any woman who observes any man enjoying himself, or about to do so, shall immediately find house work or yard work for him to do. 

    b. A man who takes a nap shall be considered to have committed a maximum violation of this Rule.

16. Violation of any of these Rules shall subject a man to a prolonged period of celibacy.